My New Crazy Idea for Losing Weight
Ok so no joke, I need to burn off some blubber. About 50 pounds of blubber to be precise. Every day, week, month, and year I come up with some hairball scheme to get the lard off me. Want to hear the latest scheme?
You know you do so here it is:
First, I’m only drinking water and skim milk. I love the taste of Gatorade or Juice every now and then but those sugars and calories start tacking on any lose piece of flab on my body they can find. So this is calorie cutting measure #1.
Second, screw bread and tortillas. You resemble what you eat, kinda, right? Well fluffy bread and tortillas made me the farm pig I am today so screw them, I’m dumping anything bread and anything tortilla.
The last of the big triumvirate is I’m walking every day, no matter holy hell what, for 20 minutes. There’s no way out of this. I must walk 20 minutes at some point during the day. If I want to exercise in addition to this, I can but I must do at least 20 minutes of walking whether outside or on the treadmill.
What do ya think? Foolproof weight loss plan, I know. Newayz, this is just the core premise that I want to adhere to. I’m not saying I won’t do more, but keeping things simple is what has gained the most ground for me so keeping things simple, I shall do.
Wish me luck. I’m a sweaty hog that relies on sweatpants almost as much as I do oxygen and celebrity gossip. Oh the drama and fat of it all. Instead of keep it simple stupid, I’m calling this keep it simple fatass. The acronym isn’t as good, but I think it works. Yeah, I think it works.