Did I say my weight loss plan doesn’t work? I mean it works like a charm! I lost 2 pounds since I said gained 3 pounds! Celebration for me all day long. To celebrate I found the perfect video:
How did I lose 2 pounds so fast? Cut my calories in half and went walking for an hour each day. I weigh a lot so it was relatively easy for me (as opposed to someone just 20 lbs overweight).
It’s so great to see that scale headed in the right direction. The recipe for success was discipline and distractions. As soon as I kept myself preoccupied it became a whole lot easier to stay out of the kitchen.
On my walk, I took my iPhone and cranked up the music and just sweated my ass off around the block. I love the site of sweat because that means the fat is pouring off me.
I’m not done yet. I’m going to lose even more weight. I previously ate so many calories during the day it’s made it easy for me to shave off 2,500 just by cutting out snacks, sweets, and excess. Plus, the walking burns a ton of calories because I really challenge myself.
Well the good news is I have a friend called Netlix. She keeps me company when things get lonely and trust me, I get pretty lonely sometimes. Many people aren’t very lonely but have you ever felt all by yourself? I feel all alone a lot so I always try to turn the TV or music on to have the sound of people talking, otherwise it gets too quiet.
Sometimes – even though I’m usually pretty lazy – I’ll go to Wal-Mart just to be around other people. When the Wal-Mart greeter says hi to me, I always try to stop and chat for as long as they’ll go for it. It really makes my day. The Wal-Mart greeters are almost always really nice people. I hope they get paid at least $10 an hour.
I’ve been on this new diet of mine for a few days but I still gained 3 lbs. It’s ok, I’m almost resigned to being fat and alone for the rest of my life. I get really sad about it but I have very low confidence which goes right along with my low self esteem. Things that people say about me negatively really knock me down a peg each time.
For every comment or snide remark I get, I sink that much lower. Sometimes I’m just sad for an extended period of time. Even my rays of happiness are not true and cannot be lasting. For example, the small talk with the Wal-Mart greeters is just that, small talk. The interaction is fleeting and still leaves me all alone on Thanksgiving, setting up a Thanksgiving day meal by myself for only me.
I’m going to stop writing now because I’m getting to sad thinking about this. I wish I had more self control to stop my binge eating.
The work whistle sounds (at least the imaginary one) and it’s noon time. Noon = lunch. I had been feeling good about myself. My scale registered that I had lost two pounds in the last week, my hair was working well, and my clothes looked good on me. Or so I thought. While I was [...]
Ok so the day starts out with me waking up at 2:04 pm to the sound of my chihuahua barking at me to go outside. Fair enough. So I start to leverage myself out of bed when the glass of coke I had left cushioned against my ribular area and the body pillow falls and [...]
If you’re wonder whether you’ve breached that line between fat and really fat, here are some good indicators that you’re super fat and not just kinda fat. Oh and by kinda fat I mean well beyond chubby or husky or any other Piggy from Lord of the Flies references. Number 1. When your dog climbs [...]
The Spammers are really attracted to my weight loss blog. Maybe it’s because they know I’m fat as hell that they think they can spam me and I’ll be too lazy to delete their comments. Well, I’m not! I may be super duper fat, but I can still smash away at my keyboard. Fatass 1, [...]
Did you ever realize that the word lardo is one letter away from being Laredo? Eh, eh, makes you think. This is the big stuff in life that I choose to zero in on and really explore. But enough about my Friday and Saturday nights of solo yahtzee (hey there’s a quiet dignity to it), [...]
Ok so no joke, I need to burn off some blubber. About 50 pounds of blubber to be precise. Every day, week, month, and year I come up with some hairball scheme to get the lard off me. Want to hear the latest scheme? You know you do so here it is: First, I’m only [...]
You know this weight loss blog may be great for developing my writing skills and socializing online but it sucks for losing weight in real life. I’m sitting my fat ass in front of the computer not moving nary an inch. Today I had ice cream in bed while I watched videos on YouTube. Ughhh. [...]
I know I haven’t kept up with my weight loss blog, but I had to let you all know that I lost 7 pounds in 3 weeks! The story below is really how I have begun to lose weight fast and safe and guess what – in 21 days, 7 pounds came off. I am [...]
Welcome to my weight loss blog! I guess the reason my blog has lasted so long is I suck at losing weight. This blogger has lost and gained weight so many times it's becoming my life. I want to lose weight once and for all. I hope blogging on weight loss helps it get into my fat head that I need to diet right and exercise so I can finally fit into my jeans and clothes. Thanks for reading. Words of encouragement are definitely appreciated.